Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Well it's been an interesting few weeks, I'm sorry I've not been around to post. I've been a little frustrated. Struggling with headaches and dizziness for a month and a half, have seen my doctor and haven't gotten anywhere. I tried the cleanse, it messed with my blood sugar and made me sick so that's out…..it's gonna have to be Eat Clean for me until I can get things in my body functioning to a level where it will tolerate a cleanse.
This time of year is difficult, I'm doing better than years past, but I love the baking and traditions centered around this time of year. I've decided I will not beat myself up, I will learn to have grace on myself, and learn to move on after "off plan" meals. I will make an effort to fill my body with cleaner healthier meals, but enjoy this time of year. Come January, my focus can be more dedicated and I will also get my butt back in the gym near the end of Jan when we get caught up after Christmas.
I'm sorry this isn't more exciting….but it's where I am for now…and today I'm not feeling great again…..so this one is short. Hope you all are doing well and hope to start hearing great stories from you!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Toxicity
If you haven't joined me on my new challenge page, click HERE it's a page where we gather people together to challenge ourselves to become better mentally and physically. Whether your goals are weight related or not, this is a great page where we evaluate the way we think in conjunction with our goals. I've come to realize that when our heads are full of clutter, we aren't able to fully flourish as the people we were designed to be. Please spread the word about the challenge, the more people participating, the better the encouragement and motivation will be for each of us participating.
My cleanse has been disrupted by antibiotics and infection. My body is struggling lately, and I've started to read Alejandro Junger's book "Clean" which outlines the toxicity of our Earth and our bodies and how it all ties together. I've been having a lot of symptoms over the years, symptoms my body has been yelling "HELP ME" over, yet I've not heeded it's call. I'm 34, and as of late, I've experienced chronic joint pain, headaches, dizziness, skin infections, low immune system, fatigue, muscle pain, back pain, head fogginess, easy bruising, moodiness, and more. I've had every lab test in the book, and guess what?! They are all NORMAL.
In Dr. Junger's book, he shares his story of a similar barrage of symptoms. TOXICITY and not toxicity like you hear about in modern medicine relating to massive infection or overdose, poisoning, etc; but toxicity from our exposure to environmentals, medications, pesticides in food, hormones in food, chemicals in food, additives, preservatives, and things we can't avoid like pollution, etc. Dr. Junger shares a cleanse program in this book that has changed many lives, even endorsed by Gweneth Paltrow. So, I will continue to read and continue to share with you, but my goal is to begin a 21 day cleanse using "Clean" starting December 1. In the mean time, I will still begin my challenge on November 21 along with the challenge group, incorporating "Clean" when I return from vacation.
So, yes, my current cleanse was interrupted due to a skin infection that occurred in my ear canal, requiring a visit to the emergency room and a visit to an ENT for two minor procedures to attempt to drain the infection. Now I am on mega antibiotics and antibiotic/steroid ear drops to boot. Not exactly the best way to cleanse your body. It is what it is, however. I was on antibiotics about 8 weeks ago when I came down with bronchitis that lasted 6 weeks. As you can see, I'm desperate to heal my body and modern medicine is NOT doing the job. So, I'm taking matters into my own hands December 1.
One of the things I've struggled with for years is losing weight. I can exercise 2 hours a day 4-5 days a week, have caloric deficits 90% of the time yet I lost 4 pounds in 6 months. Some of that is food combinations, I can't do a high carb load diet, which I am learning and I've got to stay away from sugars. It was a year ago that I stopped working out 2 hours a day, when I forfeited my gym membership for a new house. I swore to myself that I would keep up with it at home, I bought a treadmill on Craigslist and a weight set, along with a couple of workout videos. Did I keep up with it? No, the distraction of things to do at home insured my treadmill collected dust. So, here I am a year later, and desperately trying to find the combination that works for me. As I'm learning, this process will have to start with detox, clean the plate before you fill it up again.
My hopes are to find that not only does my body start repairing itself with the cleanse, but that my mind clears and the entire process becomes an easier task. Mind and body are connected, when our body is toxic, our mind is toxic. We can't think clearly, we are depressed, etc. When we clean out our body, our mind no longer has a rush of toxins either which makes the whole body healing process a lot more enjoyable (so I'm told……). I have to say "Clean" is a very interesting book…Dr. Junger does have some more metaphysical, new age thoughts, which are NOT me, but I can see past those and gain valuable scientific information in spite of our differing belief systems.
I can hardly wait to finish the book, get a good plan in place, and begin. We will be traveling for Thanksgiving which will be an interesting way to start a new challenge. My goals are to avoid overindulgence an do my best to incorporate eating cleanER then I normally would in a holiday setting. I really can't believe I'm saying "holiday." Is it really that time of year again? My goal this season is to lose weight, gain clarity and start healing my body; unlike years past where I binge on sugar and find myself 10 pounds heavier.
Please do join my challenge, I don't want to try to do this alone. I thrive best when a community of people are sharing ideas and successes, and my best guess is many people do.
Until next time…..
My cleanse has been disrupted by antibiotics and infection. My body is struggling lately, and I've started to read Alejandro Junger's book "Clean" which outlines the toxicity of our Earth and our bodies and how it all ties together. I've been having a lot of symptoms over the years, symptoms my body has been yelling "HELP ME" over, yet I've not heeded it's call. I'm 34, and as of late, I've experienced chronic joint pain, headaches, dizziness, skin infections, low immune system, fatigue, muscle pain, back pain, head fogginess, easy bruising, moodiness, and more. I've had every lab test in the book, and guess what?! They are all NORMAL.
In Dr. Junger's book, he shares his story of a similar barrage of symptoms. TOXICITY and not toxicity like you hear about in modern medicine relating to massive infection or overdose, poisoning, etc; but toxicity from our exposure to environmentals, medications, pesticides in food, hormones in food, chemicals in food, additives, preservatives, and things we can't avoid like pollution, etc. Dr. Junger shares a cleanse program in this book that has changed many lives, even endorsed by Gweneth Paltrow. So, I will continue to read and continue to share with you, but my goal is to begin a 21 day cleanse using "Clean" starting December 1. In the mean time, I will still begin my challenge on November 21 along with the challenge group, incorporating "Clean" when I return from vacation.
So, yes, my current cleanse was interrupted due to a skin infection that occurred in my ear canal, requiring a visit to the emergency room and a visit to an ENT for two minor procedures to attempt to drain the infection. Now I am on mega antibiotics and antibiotic/steroid ear drops to boot. Not exactly the best way to cleanse your body. It is what it is, however. I was on antibiotics about 8 weeks ago when I came down with bronchitis that lasted 6 weeks. As you can see, I'm desperate to heal my body and modern medicine is NOT doing the job. So, I'm taking matters into my own hands December 1.
One of the things I've struggled with for years is losing weight. I can exercise 2 hours a day 4-5 days a week, have caloric deficits 90% of the time yet I lost 4 pounds in 6 months. Some of that is food combinations, I can't do a high carb load diet, which I am learning and I've got to stay away from sugars. It was a year ago that I stopped working out 2 hours a day, when I forfeited my gym membership for a new house. I swore to myself that I would keep up with it at home, I bought a treadmill on Craigslist and a weight set, along with a couple of workout videos. Did I keep up with it? No, the distraction of things to do at home insured my treadmill collected dust. So, here I am a year later, and desperately trying to find the combination that works for me. As I'm learning, this process will have to start with detox, clean the plate before you fill it up again.
My hopes are to find that not only does my body start repairing itself with the cleanse, but that my mind clears and the entire process becomes an easier task. Mind and body are connected, when our body is toxic, our mind is toxic. We can't think clearly, we are depressed, etc. When we clean out our body, our mind no longer has a rush of toxins either which makes the whole body healing process a lot more enjoyable (so I'm told……). I have to say "Clean" is a very interesting book…Dr. Junger does have some more metaphysical, new age thoughts, which are NOT me, but I can see past those and gain valuable scientific information in spite of our differing belief systems.
I can hardly wait to finish the book, get a good plan in place, and begin. We will be traveling for Thanksgiving which will be an interesting way to start a new challenge. My goals are to avoid overindulgence an do my best to incorporate eating cleanER then I normally would in a holiday setting. I really can't believe I'm saying "holiday." Is it really that time of year again? My goal this season is to lose weight, gain clarity and start healing my body; unlike years past where I binge on sugar and find myself 10 pounds heavier.
Please do join my challenge, I don't want to try to do this alone. I thrive best when a community of people are sharing ideas and successes, and my best guess is many people do.
Until next time…..
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Head Space
Wow, has it really been almost a month since I've been on this thing? Sadly, yes. My trip threw me off of my plan....well, actually, I threw myself off my plan. I have trouble once I get distracted or disrupted in my plan, with getting back ON it. So, here we are over a month later, and I'm trying to get myself back on track.
Right now, I'm cleansing, trying to detox because my body has been exhibiting a lot of symptoms that I should not be having at my age. Rather than take piles of medications, I'm trying to do it naturally...and heal my body through nutrition. Not to worry, I'm still incorporating my Eat Clean Diet, but am doing some supplementation and cleanse products to try to jump start this process of detoxing.
Over the last couple of months, I've been having joint pain, fatigue, chronic infections, chronic illness....and I love my Doctor, but I will not pollute my body with a bunch of symptomatic cures when the real true cure is addressing the root of the problem. I just watched this video on this page ----> http://www.cleanprogram.com/ it uses the analogy of a tree that is struggling, wilting, dying.....and how modern medicine's approach is to paint the leaves and glue them back on the tree rather than nurse the tree nutritionally back to health. Painting the leaves WOULD be absurd, yet our medical community does it daily. I sometimes fight my doctors about what I will and won't take. If I have a serious infection, I will take antibiotics, but I am highly sensitive to medications and don't tolerate them well in general. So, sometimes it's a battle and some of the Doctors I've seen in my lifetime don't think the patient is qualified to do their own research and decide they don't want to take certain medications. Don't hear me wrong, I respect Doctors, they save lives they help me get well...but certain things I know I just can't do.
Getting with the program, following through with a cleanse, is hard. We can talk the talk, many of us, but walking the walk seems like it's impossible sometimes. I'm just trying to be real here. I want to motivate people with this blog, but I have to be real about what happens in my head. My head is exactly why I've struggled with my weight for so long. It goes something like this: gah, I hate how I look...I hate myself in pictures....look at that nasty fat.....omg my butt in those jeans looks like some old woman....negativity, negativity, negativity. Somewhere I learned to loathe what I see, and just when I think it's not so bad, who I see in the mirror isn't looking as bad as I think...I'm slammed with a family photo and there I see three chins (maybe not really) staring at me. I obsess, I beat myself up, I hang on it. Then instead of doing anything about it, I look for my solution in food. psssttt..hey you.....don't you know you are making it worse?! RIGHT?! The logic leaves my head completely.....there lies the difficulty of finding how to get out of my own head space. Stop being negative, find something good to say (my waist looks thinner, I'm strong, I can't run X miles). There's a lot to be thankful for, yet somehow we can tend to get wrapped up in a negative cycle and get nowhere but backwards!
So, I'm working on it a day at a time. I don't have the cure.....but I'm searching for that thing...that AHA moment. In the mean time, here's some notes I took while on a ustream chat with Jesse Brisendine, a very motivating life coach and personal trainer. Check him out here: https://www.facebook.com/1Year1000Challenge
*YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET RESULTS BY GIVING 10%
*FULLY COMMIT
*THERE WILL BE DOWNS
*CHANGE DAY TO DAY THOUGHT PROCESSES IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THINGS
*THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.
*IF YOU MAKE THAT CHANGE, THE SKY IS THE LIMIT
*"IF" IS A DREAM KILLER…IF YOU PUT CONDITIONS ON YOUR DREAMS IT WILL KILL THEM.
These are all in CAPS for a very good reason, I even took the notes in CAPS....these are things I need to yell at myself EVERY DAY.
That's it for now...until next time.....remember YOU are worth it. Don't forget that
(the products I'm cleansing with are a couple of different things I'm trying, but am not sure I'm sold. Until I know whether I am....I will stay silent about them. If they do amazing things, I will share with you all)
Right now, I'm cleansing, trying to detox because my body has been exhibiting a lot of symptoms that I should not be having at my age. Rather than take piles of medications, I'm trying to do it naturally...and heal my body through nutrition. Not to worry, I'm still incorporating my Eat Clean Diet, but am doing some supplementation and cleanse products to try to jump start this process of detoxing.
Over the last couple of months, I've been having joint pain, fatigue, chronic infections, chronic illness....and I love my Doctor, but I will not pollute my body with a bunch of symptomatic cures when the real true cure is addressing the root of the problem. I just watched this video on this page ----> http://www.cleanprogram.com/ it uses the analogy of a tree that is struggling, wilting, dying.....and how modern medicine's approach is to paint the leaves and glue them back on the tree rather than nurse the tree nutritionally back to health. Painting the leaves WOULD be absurd, yet our medical community does it daily. I sometimes fight my doctors about what I will and won't take. If I have a serious infection, I will take antibiotics, but I am highly sensitive to medications and don't tolerate them well in general. So, sometimes it's a battle and some of the Doctors I've seen in my lifetime don't think the patient is qualified to do their own research and decide they don't want to take certain medications. Don't hear me wrong, I respect Doctors, they save lives they help me get well...but certain things I know I just can't do.
Getting with the program, following through with a cleanse, is hard. We can talk the talk, many of us, but walking the walk seems like it's impossible sometimes. I'm just trying to be real here. I want to motivate people with this blog, but I have to be real about what happens in my head. My head is exactly why I've struggled with my weight for so long. It goes something like this: gah, I hate how I look...I hate myself in pictures....look at that nasty fat.....omg my butt in those jeans looks like some old woman....negativity, negativity, negativity. Somewhere I learned to loathe what I see, and just when I think it's not so bad, who I see in the mirror isn't looking as bad as I think...I'm slammed with a family photo and there I see three chins (maybe not really) staring at me. I obsess, I beat myself up, I hang on it. Then instead of doing anything about it, I look for my solution in food. psssttt..hey you.....don't you know you are making it worse?! RIGHT?! The logic leaves my head completely.....there lies the difficulty of finding how to get out of my own head space. Stop being negative, find something good to say (my waist looks thinner, I'm strong, I can't run X miles). There's a lot to be thankful for, yet somehow we can tend to get wrapped up in a negative cycle and get nowhere but backwards!
So, I'm working on it a day at a time. I don't have the cure.....but I'm searching for that thing...that AHA moment. In the mean time, here's some notes I took while on a ustream chat with Jesse Brisendine, a very motivating life coach and personal trainer. Check him out here: https://www.facebook.com/1Year1000Challenge
*YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET RESULTS BY GIVING 10%
*FULLY COMMIT
*THERE WILL BE DOWNS
*CHANGE DAY TO DAY THOUGHT PROCESSES IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THINGS
*THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.
*IF YOU MAKE THAT CHANGE, THE SKY IS THE LIMIT
*"IF" IS A DREAM KILLER…IF YOU PUT CONDITIONS ON YOUR DREAMS IT WILL KILL THEM.
These are all in CAPS for a very good reason, I even took the notes in CAPS....these are things I need to yell at myself EVERY DAY.
That's it for now...until next time.....remember YOU are worth it. Don't forget that
(the products I'm cleansing with are a couple of different things I'm trying, but am not sure I'm sold. Until I know whether I am....I will stay silent about them. If they do amazing things, I will share with you all)
Friday, October 14, 2011
Sorry to all of you who have been patiently waiting for an update from me! I was out of town for a wedding but am back and back with the program.
What I love about Eating Clean:
My stomach is shrinking
It doesn't feel like a diet (well it isn't technically)
I'm never hungry
I don't crave junk food
When I eat junk food I feel like crap
I eat smaller portions and stay satisfied
My focus is shifting from food to more important things
I was down 7lbs at the 2 week mark, put a few on with traveling and now am sick so weighing isn't really something I'm trying to obsess about. I see results in my body, that's the true indicator of what is happening by sticking to Eating Clean. I am having to learn that my value is not in the number on the scale, that my value is in who I am as a person.
I had bronchitis for two weeks and now am struggling with an upper respiratory infection (sinus, etc). So, I really haven't been active with exercise in a while. The nice part is, weight loss is mostly attributed to food….and this is the first time I've not been overly worried or obsessed with what I put in and what I put out. I'm able to take the focus and stress out of the equation, which I believe will produce long standing results.
I really hope to get back into working out soon. I miss running terribly. I've been having some joint pain and the Doctors want to start testing for autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, etc. Let's just hope and pray that there are no diseases that will interfere with my quality of life.
Transformation story of the week:
http://eatcleandiet.com/community/success_stories/jessica_greichunos.aspx
Recipe of the Day, this looks amazing, have to try it this week
Check out the photo and post here: http://eatcleandiet.com/the_kitchen_table/recipe/recipe.aspx?id=587
This is a popular Israeli dish made from eggs and tomatoes (picture from Laaloosh website) and it's incredibly easy to prepare.
Ingredients
• Olive oil spray
• 1 small onion
• 1 garlic clove
• 2 large tomatoes (or half a can of crushed tomatoes)
• 1 red or green bell pepper
• cayenne pepper, paprika, cumin to taste
• pinch of salt
• fresh parsley (optional)
Instructions
1.Heat a medium sized pan sprayed with olive oil spray. 2.Chop the onion and garlic and add to the pan. 3.Chop the tomatoes and pepper and add to the onion and garlic. 4.Add the cayenne pepper, paprika and cumin (according to how spicy you want it) plus a pinch of salt and stir. 5.Cook for approx. 10 minutes, stirring occasionally (until the tomatoes are cooked through). 6.Make 3 'wells' into the tomato mix, adding one whole raw egg into one 'well' and 2 egg whites into the other 2 wells. 7.Cover the pan and cook for another 5 minutes until the eggs are fully cooked 8. Garnish with chopped parsley.
Tips & Bonus Information
It's easy to play around with this recipe - meaning the quantities don't have to be exact for it to taste good. I like to add loads of veggies like broccoli, carrots and sometimes sweet potatoes to give it some bulk. You can also add pieces of meat or low fat cheese. It's best served with some wholewheat pita bread, or wholewheat couscous.
YIELD: 1 serving
PREPARATION TIME: 5 minutes
COOKING TIME: Approx. 15 minutes
What I love about Eating Clean:
My stomach is shrinking
It doesn't feel like a diet (well it isn't technically)
I'm never hungry
I don't crave junk food
When I eat junk food I feel like crap
I eat smaller portions and stay satisfied
My focus is shifting from food to more important things
I was down 7lbs at the 2 week mark, put a few on with traveling and now am sick so weighing isn't really something I'm trying to obsess about. I see results in my body, that's the true indicator of what is happening by sticking to Eating Clean. I am having to learn that my value is not in the number on the scale, that my value is in who I am as a person.
I had bronchitis for two weeks and now am struggling with an upper respiratory infection (sinus, etc). So, I really haven't been active with exercise in a while. The nice part is, weight loss is mostly attributed to food….and this is the first time I've not been overly worried or obsessed with what I put in and what I put out. I'm able to take the focus and stress out of the equation, which I believe will produce long standing results.
I really hope to get back into working out soon. I miss running terribly. I've been having some joint pain and the Doctors want to start testing for autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, etc. Let's just hope and pray that there are no diseases that will interfere with my quality of life.
Transformation story of the week:
http://eatcleandiet.com/community/success_stories/jessica_greichunos.aspx
Recipe of the Day, this looks amazing, have to try it this week
Check out the photo and post here: http://eatcleandiet.com/the_kitchen_table/recipe/recipe.aspx?id=587
This is a popular Israeli dish made from eggs and tomatoes (picture from Laaloosh website) and it's incredibly easy to prepare.
Ingredients
• Olive oil spray
• 1 small onion
• 1 garlic clove
• 2 large tomatoes (or half a can of crushed tomatoes)
• 1 red or green bell pepper
• cayenne pepper, paprika, cumin to taste
• pinch of salt
• fresh parsley (optional)
Instructions
1.Heat a medium sized pan sprayed with olive oil spray. 2.Chop the onion and garlic and add to the pan. 3.Chop the tomatoes and pepper and add to the onion and garlic. 4.Add the cayenne pepper, paprika and cumin (according to how spicy you want it) plus a pinch of salt and stir. 5.Cook for approx. 10 minutes, stirring occasionally (until the tomatoes are cooked through). 6.Make 3 'wells' into the tomato mix, adding one whole raw egg into one 'well' and 2 egg whites into the other 2 wells. 7.Cover the pan and cook for another 5 minutes until the eggs are fully cooked 8. Garnish with chopped parsley.
Tips & Bonus Information
It's easy to play around with this recipe - meaning the quantities don't have to be exact for it to taste good. I like to add loads of veggies like broccoli, carrots and sometimes sweet potatoes to give it some bulk. You can also add pieces of meat or low fat cheese. It's best served with some wholewheat pita bread, or wholewheat couscous.
YIELD: 1 serving
PREPARATION TIME: 5 minutes
COOKING TIME: Approx. 15 minutes
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Reality
Finished week 1 on The Eat Clean Diet. I really am enjoying the food and it's a very easy plan to stick with, and AFFORDABLE (which is a must). I normally would be in an emotional eating mood right about now, but thankfully I've been able to stick with the plan. The only struggle I have right now, is what to do with the emotions since I can't eat them away. It seems to be a little bit of a challenge.
There are a few things going on in my life, but the main thing is a hectic schedule. It's not impossibly hectic, but by nature I enjoy being a homebody. So, homeschooling, taking a class Monday nights, having MOPS twice a month Tuesday mornings, having dance class for my daughter on Tuesday nights, soccer for her Thursdays and Saturdays, church Sundays,and time in between after school to clean, cook, budget, and whatever else needs tending to. It's slightly outside of my comfort zone, but definitely wonderful activities that benefit our family. Then add anything else that creeps in there and is a challenge, and there you are….stress. I'm trying to deal with it differently, but I haven't quite pinpointed what that "different" looks like. It's a bit confusing, but I imagine over time, I will figure it out.
After a week and two days on the plan, I'm down 5.5 pounds. I'm really really not trying to obsess about the scale. I have that tendency as well. I'm used to letting the scale define who I am, and I desperately don't want to make that mistake. One thing Tosca mentions in her book is, some weeks you will lose 2 pounds, some 1, and others none. There are normal fluctuations in body weight, and just know that as long as you are eating clean, you are making progress.
We had a birthday party this last weekend which was hosted at McDonald's. I did eat a value meal and had one piece of cake and felt so sick after eating it. I didn't want another non-clean thing after that. I realized that even just after one week on the plan, my desire for junk had drastically changed and my body was enjoying the healthy foods I was giving it.
Okay, this will seem random to many of you…but I need to be real for a minute. We all struggle with something, stuff that people don't know about or see. You may read this blog and see someone who seems to be getting things together, but that's not always true. Life is challenging for many of us pretty regularly. My life is chaos right now, my head is chaos sometimes, and my emotions are affected with all of that. I have some medical issues many people, including family, don't know about. They are issues you can't see, I look completely normal to the world, BUT there are some very abnormal things that go on inside and those abnormal things cause pain and fatigue. When I'm tired and in pain, I get emotional. Add on external stress like a full schedule, conflicts with people, unforeseen expenses, and this is usually where I use food to comfort. My own husband doesn't understand the depth of these things, and many people judge that because they can't see it. I'm tired a lot and no matter what, I never seem to "adjust" to that. The physical issues contribute to emotional exhaustion. When I'm emotionally exhausted, I withdrawal from people. I'm not avoiding or ignoring because of something someone else has done, but I am spent in so many ways that I just want peace inside my head for a while.
Why do I share this with you? Because we can't see on the outside what happens on the inside in others' lives. We think they should do things differently. The ultimate lesson is that we are all individual and process things in different ways. We are quick to assume that life is so easy to "get it together." For many, though, it isn't easy. It's worth a shot though, I think it's important to give your best every day even if that best is not as good as yesterday's best.
Anyway, that's it for now, busy day ahead….enjoy something beautiful today!
There are a few things going on in my life, but the main thing is a hectic schedule. It's not impossibly hectic, but by nature I enjoy being a homebody. So, homeschooling, taking a class Monday nights, having MOPS twice a month Tuesday mornings, having dance class for my daughter on Tuesday nights, soccer for her Thursdays and Saturdays, church Sundays,and time in between after school to clean, cook, budget, and whatever else needs tending to. It's slightly outside of my comfort zone, but definitely wonderful activities that benefit our family. Then add anything else that creeps in there and is a challenge, and there you are….stress. I'm trying to deal with it differently, but I haven't quite pinpointed what that "different" looks like. It's a bit confusing, but I imagine over time, I will figure it out.
After a week and two days on the plan, I'm down 5.5 pounds. I'm really really not trying to obsess about the scale. I have that tendency as well. I'm used to letting the scale define who I am, and I desperately don't want to make that mistake. One thing Tosca mentions in her book is, some weeks you will lose 2 pounds, some 1, and others none. There are normal fluctuations in body weight, and just know that as long as you are eating clean, you are making progress.
We had a birthday party this last weekend which was hosted at McDonald's. I did eat a value meal and had one piece of cake and felt so sick after eating it. I didn't want another non-clean thing after that. I realized that even just after one week on the plan, my desire for junk had drastically changed and my body was enjoying the healthy foods I was giving it.
Okay, this will seem random to many of you…but I need to be real for a minute. We all struggle with something, stuff that people don't know about or see. You may read this blog and see someone who seems to be getting things together, but that's not always true. Life is challenging for many of us pretty regularly. My life is chaos right now, my head is chaos sometimes, and my emotions are affected with all of that. I have some medical issues many people, including family, don't know about. They are issues you can't see, I look completely normal to the world, BUT there are some very abnormal things that go on inside and those abnormal things cause pain and fatigue. When I'm tired and in pain, I get emotional. Add on external stress like a full schedule, conflicts with people, unforeseen expenses, and this is usually where I use food to comfort. My own husband doesn't understand the depth of these things, and many people judge that because they can't see it. I'm tired a lot and no matter what, I never seem to "adjust" to that. The physical issues contribute to emotional exhaustion. When I'm emotionally exhausted, I withdrawal from people. I'm not avoiding or ignoring because of something someone else has done, but I am spent in so many ways that I just want peace inside my head for a while.
Why do I share this with you? Because we can't see on the outside what happens on the inside in others' lives. We think they should do things differently. The ultimate lesson is that we are all individual and process things in different ways. We are quick to assume that life is so easy to "get it together." For many, though, it isn't easy. It's worth a shot though, I think it's important to give your best every day even if that best is not as good as yesterday's best.
Anyway, that's it for now, busy day ahead….enjoy something beautiful today!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Eating Clean
So, I started eating clean on Monday. Sunday, I planned my meals using Tosca Reno's books (Breakfasts, Snacks, Lunches, and Dinners) and set out to the grocery store for my loot. After getting home and stocking my cabinets and refrigerator with wonderful eat clean foods, I prepared lunches and snacks ahead of time so that when the time came, and I was hungry, I was not frantically searching for something to eat. When I'm frantically hungry, I usually grab the easiest, most processed food. Then, what usually transpires after that event is I am on a vicious cycle of binge eating.
I am thrilled to report that I've had no problem whatsoever sticking with this plan. The fact that it's real food, not diet food, and you eat 6 times a day, makes it very very easy to enjoy.
There are fantastic recipes in all of Tosca's books, and for those on a budget, there are great things you can do to enjoy the plan and stick to your budget. Let's face it, produce is expensive and especially when you are trying to buy more organic produce and meats etc. Pick a couple of new dinner recipes that may require a few more ingredients, and double the recipe and freeze some for next week. Then make some old standbys like spaghetti and swap your white pasta for whole wheat or whole grain. Tosca has a recipe for spaghetti sauce that is fairly inexpensive to make, but if you find yourself in a pinch, check labels. Look for a sauce that is low in sugar, and with minimal ingredients on the list that you can't read. SUGAR RULE: try to keep sugars under 5 grams per meal, and if you are checking labels, do your best to keep it as low as possible. Buy frozen veggies, they are the next best choice to fresh, but are less expensive. Just make sure they don't have a lot of extra "fluff" in the ingredients…like added things for flavor (msg, etc).
Below are the things I prepared ahead of time for my week:
Chicken Fajitas: cut up 2 large chicken breasts, cut up a red and yellow pepper and a yellow onion. Add a tiny bit of olive oil into a non-stick pan (Olive Oil and Coconut Oils are the best, healthiest options…steer clear of Vegetable and Canola Oils) and saute with chile powder, garlic powder, onion powder, kosher or sea salt, and curry powder. Season to taste. Cook until chicken is cooked through. I separated these into 3 BPA Free Gladware containers (keeping chicken about 5 ounces for each container, about palm sized) Right there I had 3 meals.
Sesame Chicken: cut up 2 large chicken breasts, and season a non-stick pan with a little sesame oil and lite soy sauce or braggs amino acids. I added some zucchini, but ideally, the more colorful the dish, the more delicious. Add lots of veggies, you can do water chestnuts as well. Think of an asian dish and go for veggies that sound appealing to you (sugar snap peas etc). You can toast a Tbs of sesame seeds in your toaster oven and add them to the dish for the last couple of minutes. I divided this into 3 as well…..and now we have 6 meals.
Hard boiled a dozen eggs. This was very vital to me this week, as there were times when I had to prepare meals for my kids and needed something quick. Hard boiled eggs are perfect, and eggs are packed with great nutrients. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/02/08/earlyshow/health/main7329038.shtml Trainer Jackie Warner actually suggests eating 2 eggs a day in her book "This is Why You're Fat and How to Get Thin Forever."
Eat Clean Vanishing Party Nuts: Oh man, you have got to get these recipes. I made these and rationed them into individual servings and put them into snack baggies. I have a tremendous sweet tooth, especially in the evening after dinner. These are awesome, packed with good fats, protein, and minimal good sugar (Rapadura, Molasses) and combined with some cottage cheese makes an excellent end of day snack or an easy snack to stuff in your purse.
Roasted veggies: I made an assortment of roasted veggies (plum tomatoes, zucchini, red onion) and roasted them in olive oil, garlic, rosemary, and thyme, with sea salt. I saved these for making the Eat Clean Roasted Veggie Avocado Subs as well as when I was extra hungry, I munched on veggies.
In the Eat Clean books, there are shopping lists and meal lists laid out for you to make this as easy as possible. Later today, I will prepare a clean Chipotle Chicken, it will sit in the crock pot all day and be ready for some tasty burrito bowl (brown rice, chipotle chicken, spinach or shredded lettuce, light sour cream…you can season your brown rice with fresh cilantro and lime). The recipe I use is this one: http://www.chipotlefan.com/index.php?id=chicken_recipe I use olive oil here as well.
There are some awesome breakfasts in Tosca's books as well, from Banana Walnut Bread to delicious smoothies, wonderful omelets, oatmeal, porridge, pancakes, waffles. You really don't feel like you are deprived. My breakfast during the week consists of MRM Chocolate Whey Protein Powder (from whole foods or purchased online), a half scoop (protein powder scooper) of cocoa powder, 2 cups spinach, 1 banana, 1 Tbs of ground flax seeds, 1/2 cup of dry oats, and 8 oz of coconut milk. It makes a GIANT smoothie that fills me up and is packed with nutrients.
Check out the Eat Clean Website Here for wonderful recipes
My success story for the week is linked here, check it out…join the online community on the website and read all of the great testimonials and success stories.
Now, I need to work on the activity. For 5 months, I've been running and training for a half marathon until a knee injury 3.5 weeks ago set me back. Since then, my activity has been minimal. I have done a little walking, but my goal is to begin a weight training regimen, and walk/run combo for a while to build my strength. It's very difficult for me at times, my husband travels quite a bit certain times of the year and I stay at home with two young kids. I also homeschool my oldest along with extracurricular activities for her such as soccer and dance, plus I'm taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University Class myself…..so we have a full schedule M, T, TR, SA, SU and making the time to workout when you aren't a morning person is difficult when you don't have help.
Why am I not a morning person? Well, first I struggle with a hormone imbalance (which is being treated and tweaked with natural bioidentical therapy) and I am tired quite a bit, felt the most in the early mornings. The hormone imbalance has been responsible for quite a few issues pertaining to weight issues, fatigue, etc. Secondly, I am still up with little ones at times during the night for various reasons and 5 am comes too quickly even when I am in bed at a decent hour.
Speaking of bed, sleep is essential to weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Experts recommend at least 8 hours, at decent times at night, and rest helps promote healing and health in the body….so SLEEP! Stop staying up till midnight every night (I know, easier said than done sometimes).
Okay….simmer on that one until tomorrow :)
I am thrilled to report that I've had no problem whatsoever sticking with this plan. The fact that it's real food, not diet food, and you eat 6 times a day, makes it very very easy to enjoy.
There are fantastic recipes in all of Tosca's books, and for those on a budget, there are great things you can do to enjoy the plan and stick to your budget. Let's face it, produce is expensive and especially when you are trying to buy more organic produce and meats etc. Pick a couple of new dinner recipes that may require a few more ingredients, and double the recipe and freeze some for next week. Then make some old standbys like spaghetti and swap your white pasta for whole wheat or whole grain. Tosca has a recipe for spaghetti sauce that is fairly inexpensive to make, but if you find yourself in a pinch, check labels. Look for a sauce that is low in sugar, and with minimal ingredients on the list that you can't read. SUGAR RULE: try to keep sugars under 5 grams per meal, and if you are checking labels, do your best to keep it as low as possible. Buy frozen veggies, they are the next best choice to fresh, but are less expensive. Just make sure they don't have a lot of extra "fluff" in the ingredients…like added things for flavor (msg, etc).
Below are the things I prepared ahead of time for my week:
Chicken Fajitas: cut up 2 large chicken breasts, cut up a red and yellow pepper and a yellow onion. Add a tiny bit of olive oil into a non-stick pan (Olive Oil and Coconut Oils are the best, healthiest options…steer clear of Vegetable and Canola Oils) and saute with chile powder, garlic powder, onion powder, kosher or sea salt, and curry powder. Season to taste. Cook until chicken is cooked through. I separated these into 3 BPA Free Gladware containers (keeping chicken about 5 ounces for each container, about palm sized) Right there I had 3 meals.
Sesame Chicken: cut up 2 large chicken breasts, and season a non-stick pan with a little sesame oil and lite soy sauce or braggs amino acids. I added some zucchini, but ideally, the more colorful the dish, the more delicious. Add lots of veggies, you can do water chestnuts as well. Think of an asian dish and go for veggies that sound appealing to you (sugar snap peas etc). You can toast a Tbs of sesame seeds in your toaster oven and add them to the dish for the last couple of minutes. I divided this into 3 as well…..and now we have 6 meals.
Hard boiled a dozen eggs. This was very vital to me this week, as there were times when I had to prepare meals for my kids and needed something quick. Hard boiled eggs are perfect, and eggs are packed with great nutrients. http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/02/08/earlyshow/health/main7329038.shtml Trainer Jackie Warner actually suggests eating 2 eggs a day in her book "This is Why You're Fat and How to Get Thin Forever."
Eat Clean Vanishing Party Nuts: Oh man, you have got to get these recipes. I made these and rationed them into individual servings and put them into snack baggies. I have a tremendous sweet tooth, especially in the evening after dinner. These are awesome, packed with good fats, protein, and minimal good sugar (Rapadura, Molasses) and combined with some cottage cheese makes an excellent end of day snack or an easy snack to stuff in your purse.
Roasted veggies: I made an assortment of roasted veggies (plum tomatoes, zucchini, red onion) and roasted them in olive oil, garlic, rosemary, and thyme, with sea salt. I saved these for making the Eat Clean Roasted Veggie Avocado Subs as well as when I was extra hungry, I munched on veggies.
In the Eat Clean books, there are shopping lists and meal lists laid out for you to make this as easy as possible. Later today, I will prepare a clean Chipotle Chicken, it will sit in the crock pot all day and be ready for some tasty burrito bowl (brown rice, chipotle chicken, spinach or shredded lettuce, light sour cream…you can season your brown rice with fresh cilantro and lime). The recipe I use is this one: http://www.chipotlefan.com/index.php?id=chicken_recipe I use olive oil here as well.
There are some awesome breakfasts in Tosca's books as well, from Banana Walnut Bread to delicious smoothies, wonderful omelets, oatmeal, porridge, pancakes, waffles. You really don't feel like you are deprived. My breakfast during the week consists of MRM Chocolate Whey Protein Powder (from whole foods or purchased online), a half scoop (protein powder scooper) of cocoa powder, 2 cups spinach, 1 banana, 1 Tbs of ground flax seeds, 1/2 cup of dry oats, and 8 oz of coconut milk. It makes a GIANT smoothie that fills me up and is packed with nutrients.
Check out the Eat Clean Website Here for wonderful recipes
My success story for the week is linked here, check it out…join the online community on the website and read all of the great testimonials and success stories.
Now, I need to work on the activity. For 5 months, I've been running and training for a half marathon until a knee injury 3.5 weeks ago set me back. Since then, my activity has been minimal. I have done a little walking, but my goal is to begin a weight training regimen, and walk/run combo for a while to build my strength. It's very difficult for me at times, my husband travels quite a bit certain times of the year and I stay at home with two young kids. I also homeschool my oldest along with extracurricular activities for her such as soccer and dance, plus I'm taking Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University Class myself…..so we have a full schedule M, T, TR, SA, SU and making the time to workout when you aren't a morning person is difficult when you don't have help.
Why am I not a morning person? Well, first I struggle with a hormone imbalance (which is being treated and tweaked with natural bioidentical therapy) and I am tired quite a bit, felt the most in the early mornings. The hormone imbalance has been responsible for quite a few issues pertaining to weight issues, fatigue, etc. Secondly, I am still up with little ones at times during the night for various reasons and 5 am comes too quickly even when I am in bed at a decent hour.
Speaking of bed, sleep is essential to weight loss and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. Experts recommend at least 8 hours, at decent times at night, and rest helps promote healing and health in the body….so SLEEP! Stop staying up till midnight every night (I know, easier said than done sometimes).
Okay….simmer on that one until tomorrow :)
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
New Blogging Adventure
I used to blog about fitness nearly every day for a good portion of the year in 2010. Then we moved to a new house, I couldn't afford a gym membership anymore, and started having some knee issues. I quit everything overnight. I quit the gym, even though I vowed I'd workout at home. I didn't workout at home, and I quit running because of my knees. Suddenly a setback turned into a lifestyle change for the worse. I got depressed, I eat when I'm depressed. I am an emotional eater and I love food. So, from August to January, I packed on about 14 pounds.
In February of 2011, I decided I would try a fast weight loss method (hcg diet). I tried this diet once before and was successful in pulling off 30 pounds, and only had gained back 10. I say "only" right like it's really no big deal. The problem is, it WAS a big deal….only in my mind I had still justified it as a loss in the end. The problem with crash diets, even hcg is that unless it is something that you can completely make a "lifestyle change," you will always gain the weight back. The hcg diet may work for some, but of the some that I've followed for years, here's what happens: they lost astronomical amounts of weight adhering to a 500 calorie a day diet in conjunction with either injections or oral sublingual drops. Once you are off of the initial phase of hcg, you go to a low low carb phase, this is supposed to be what "resets" your metabolism so to speak. Then after the low low carb phase, you are supposed to be able to resume a fairly normal healthy diet. However, the people I am familiar with, can't do this. They forever must not eat carbs or they gain their weight back, and they aren't able to keep 15 ish pounds from reappearing. Then, they go on a round of hcg, it comes off, they get off of hcg and it comes back and they go on and off and on and off and on and off.
Let me just tell you how hard a 500 calorie a day diet is….it sucks…..it really really does when you are a food addict. It is a desperate measure, and it works to shed weight quickly, but the health ramifications of doing that are truly unknown especially for those that yo yo with this plan. My point? I did hcg again, in February, and lost 14 pounds in 20 days. AND THEN……I gained it back plus an additional 10. From February to September I gained 23 pounds, 9 of which were new pounds, 14 of which were rebound pounds. Ultimately, here's the problem…..you ready???? No matter what diet, if you do NOT change your mindset about why you eat what you eat, you will ALWAYS fail. My mind hadn't changed, my heart hadn't changed. I wanted to undo bad what choices and a hormone imbalance had done to me, and I wanted to do it overnight……though I didn't gain it overnight.
When you are overweight, fat, obese, or whatever term best describes you, you find yourself feeling hopeless. It doesn't matter if you have 20 pounds or 200 pounds to lose. The things that go on inside your mind are the same things, our bodies just look different. I didn't wake up fat overnight, it's a series of events that set me on the path to self-destruction. Some people use drugs, some use sex addiction, some use alcohol, some are anorexic or bulimic, or exercise addicts beyond healthy realms. The point is, something has happened inside our minds that has allowed us to stick to destructive patterns.
So, here we are two years later, and stuck in the same rut. What is my plan? Well, A: diets don't work. It has to be a change of mind, heart, will, and lifestyle. I have to change my mind about what I want, face my fears….because let's face it, if we weren't afraid of losing the weight we'd of done it already. Truly, I honestly believe that somehow, as odd as it may sound to some of you, we are afraid. Afraid of the wrong kind of attention, afraid that people will notice us (heaven forbid they notice us because we are vibrant and healthy when we are used to the opposite), afraid we WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT WHAT WE LOVE. WHAAAAT?! I honestly feel that we are afraid of losing food, which means our relationship with food isn't what it's supposed to be. We will always have to eat, and there is some fabulous food out there, and you know what?! We don't have to stop eating, and it doesn't mean we never get to have the things we love…..we just need to learn to have a healthy relationship with things we love.
Food has become and obsession for our culture, and it's no wonder we're fat. Not only are we faced with mouth-watering ads of food that packs in 1500-2000 calories per meal, but we aren't seeing mouth-watering ads for food that is actually good for us! Who sees a commercial for fat-free cheese and thinks "ooh yummy," or an ad for a Smashburger combo with guacamole, bacon, and 1/4 pound of beef with a side of onion straws and dipping sauce? Who looks at the grilled chicken and thinks that will taste better than the juicy burger? Well, maybe someone, but for those who are addicts to food, those ads are like someone waiving a bottle of beer under an alcoholics nose. BUT, people can survive without alcohol, we will forever have to eat to survive, so our solution isn't "do without" it's "change your thinking." Our relationship with the food we eat has to change, how? Well, that's what I'm here to figure out.
Will this be a perfect journey? No way. Will my problems be solved tomorrow morning? Absolutely no way. Will they be solved next year? Probably not. This may be a struggle that has to have effort to keep it under control….for the rest of my life. Does this mean I never will taste my favorite foods? No, it means I need to learn that my favorite foods don't call me from the menu every time I visit a restaurant, but are allowed to call me on my birthday or special occasion. In the mean time? I'm starting using the Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. It's not a diet, it's delicious wonderful food packed with nutrients designed to keep you healthy. There are wonderful meals and desserts and snacks in all of her books. Desserts that taste like dessert but don't pack the punch.
If you are interested in testimonials, visit www.eatcleandiet.com….and see some amazing transformations. Keep tuned in here for more info on the plan……..for those that want to join me in challenging your mind to be healthy…..follow me, post comments, I'd love to hear your advice, successes, etc.
For now, I'm really not feeling up to sharing before photos. Those of you who know me, know what I look like. I will say that I wear a size 16. I feel really horrible about my body, my self-image is very poor, and my self-worth is low. I find value in being a Mom of two wonderful young children, I find value in that, but am not the greatest at valuing me. I love to help others, I love to serve others, I am very good at caring for everyone else. For some reason, I've never developed the compassion for myself that I have for other people. I know it's very important to find that, and that's what this journey is about. I don't want to be the "fat" girl anymore. I want to be a healthy vibrant 30 something with a full life ahead, one who loves herself as much as she does everyone else.
Until next time………
In February of 2011, I decided I would try a fast weight loss method (hcg diet). I tried this diet once before and was successful in pulling off 30 pounds, and only had gained back 10. I say "only" right like it's really no big deal. The problem is, it WAS a big deal….only in my mind I had still justified it as a loss in the end. The problem with crash diets, even hcg is that unless it is something that you can completely make a "lifestyle change," you will always gain the weight back. The hcg diet may work for some, but of the some that I've followed for years, here's what happens: they lost astronomical amounts of weight adhering to a 500 calorie a day diet in conjunction with either injections or oral sublingual drops. Once you are off of the initial phase of hcg, you go to a low low carb phase, this is supposed to be what "resets" your metabolism so to speak. Then after the low low carb phase, you are supposed to be able to resume a fairly normal healthy diet. However, the people I am familiar with, can't do this. They forever must not eat carbs or they gain their weight back, and they aren't able to keep 15 ish pounds from reappearing. Then, they go on a round of hcg, it comes off, they get off of hcg and it comes back and they go on and off and on and off and on and off.
Let me just tell you how hard a 500 calorie a day diet is….it sucks…..it really really does when you are a food addict. It is a desperate measure, and it works to shed weight quickly, but the health ramifications of doing that are truly unknown especially for those that yo yo with this plan. My point? I did hcg again, in February, and lost 14 pounds in 20 days. AND THEN……I gained it back plus an additional 10. From February to September I gained 23 pounds, 9 of which were new pounds, 14 of which were rebound pounds. Ultimately, here's the problem…..you ready???? No matter what diet, if you do NOT change your mindset about why you eat what you eat, you will ALWAYS fail. My mind hadn't changed, my heart hadn't changed. I wanted to undo bad what choices and a hormone imbalance had done to me, and I wanted to do it overnight……though I didn't gain it overnight.
When you are overweight, fat, obese, or whatever term best describes you, you find yourself feeling hopeless. It doesn't matter if you have 20 pounds or 200 pounds to lose. The things that go on inside your mind are the same things, our bodies just look different. I didn't wake up fat overnight, it's a series of events that set me on the path to self-destruction. Some people use drugs, some use sex addiction, some use alcohol, some are anorexic or bulimic, or exercise addicts beyond healthy realms. The point is, something has happened inside our minds that has allowed us to stick to destructive patterns.
So, here we are two years later, and stuck in the same rut. What is my plan? Well, A: diets don't work. It has to be a change of mind, heart, will, and lifestyle. I have to change my mind about what I want, face my fears….because let's face it, if we weren't afraid of losing the weight we'd of done it already. Truly, I honestly believe that somehow, as odd as it may sound to some of you, we are afraid. Afraid of the wrong kind of attention, afraid that people will notice us (heaven forbid they notice us because we are vibrant and healthy when we are used to the opposite), afraid we WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT WHAT WE LOVE. WHAAAAT?! I honestly feel that we are afraid of losing food, which means our relationship with food isn't what it's supposed to be. We will always have to eat, and there is some fabulous food out there, and you know what?! We don't have to stop eating, and it doesn't mean we never get to have the things we love…..we just need to learn to have a healthy relationship with things we love.
Food has become and obsession for our culture, and it's no wonder we're fat. Not only are we faced with mouth-watering ads of food that packs in 1500-2000 calories per meal, but we aren't seeing mouth-watering ads for food that is actually good for us! Who sees a commercial for fat-free cheese and thinks "ooh yummy," or an ad for a Smashburger combo with guacamole, bacon, and 1/4 pound of beef with a side of onion straws and dipping sauce? Who looks at the grilled chicken and thinks that will taste better than the juicy burger? Well, maybe someone, but for those who are addicts to food, those ads are like someone waiving a bottle of beer under an alcoholics nose. BUT, people can survive without alcohol, we will forever have to eat to survive, so our solution isn't "do without" it's "change your thinking." Our relationship with the food we eat has to change, how? Well, that's what I'm here to figure out.
Will this be a perfect journey? No way. Will my problems be solved tomorrow morning? Absolutely no way. Will they be solved next year? Probably not. This may be a struggle that has to have effort to keep it under control….for the rest of my life. Does this mean I never will taste my favorite foods? No, it means I need to learn that my favorite foods don't call me from the menu every time I visit a restaurant, but are allowed to call me on my birthday or special occasion. In the mean time? I'm starting using the Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno. It's not a diet, it's delicious wonderful food packed with nutrients designed to keep you healthy. There are wonderful meals and desserts and snacks in all of her books. Desserts that taste like dessert but don't pack the punch.
If you are interested in testimonials, visit www.eatcleandiet.com….and see some amazing transformations. Keep tuned in here for more info on the plan……..for those that want to join me in challenging your mind to be healthy…..follow me, post comments, I'd love to hear your advice, successes, etc.
For now, I'm really not feeling up to sharing before photos. Those of you who know me, know what I look like. I will say that I wear a size 16. I feel really horrible about my body, my self-image is very poor, and my self-worth is low. I find value in being a Mom of two wonderful young children, I find value in that, but am not the greatest at valuing me. I love to help others, I love to serve others, I am very good at caring for everyone else. For some reason, I've never developed the compassion for myself that I have for other people. I know it's very important to find that, and that's what this journey is about. I don't want to be the "fat" girl anymore. I want to be a healthy vibrant 30 something with a full life ahead, one who loves herself as much as she does everyone else.
Until next time………
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