Reality

Finished week 1 on The Eat Clean Diet. I really am enjoying the food and it's a very easy plan to stick with, and AFFORDABLE (which is a must). I normally would be in an emotional eating mood right about now, but thankfully I've been able to stick with the plan. The only struggle I have right now, is what to do with the emotions since I can't eat them away. It seems to be a little bit of a challenge.

There are a few things going on in my life, but the main thing is a hectic schedule. It's not impossibly hectic, but by nature I enjoy being a homebody. So, homeschooling, taking a class Monday nights, having MOPS twice a month Tuesday mornings, having dance class for my daughter on Tuesday nights, soccer for her Thursdays and Saturdays, church Sundays,and time in between after school to clean, cook, budget, and whatever else needs tending to. It's slightly outside of my comfort zone, but definitely wonderful activities that benefit our family. Then add anything else that creeps in there and is a challenge, and there you are….stress. I'm trying to deal with it differently, but I haven't quite pinpointed what that "different" looks like. It's a bit confusing, but I imagine over time, I will figure it out.

After a week and two days on the plan, I'm down 5.5 pounds. I'm really really not trying to obsess about the scale. I have that tendency as well. I'm used to letting the scale define who I am, and I desperately don't want to make that mistake. One thing Tosca mentions in her book is, some weeks you will lose 2 pounds, some 1, and others none. There are normal fluctuations in body weight, and just know that as long as you are eating clean, you are making progress.

We had a birthday party this last weekend which was hosted at McDonald's. I did eat a value meal and had one piece of cake and felt so sick after eating it. I didn't want another non-clean thing after that. I realized that even just after one week on the plan, my desire for junk had drastically changed and my body was enjoying the healthy foods I was giving it.

Okay, this will seem random to many of you…but I need to be real for a minute. We all struggle with something, stuff that people don't know about or see. You may read this blog and see someone who seems to be getting things together, but that's not always true. Life is challenging for many of us pretty regularly. My life is chaos right now, my head is chaos sometimes, and my emotions are affected with all of that. I have some medical issues many people, including family, don't know about. They are issues you can't see, I look completely normal to the world, BUT there are some very abnormal things that go on inside and those abnormal things cause pain and fatigue. When I'm tired and in pain, I get emotional. Add on external stress like a full schedule, conflicts with people, unforeseen expenses, and this is usually where I use food to comfort. My own husband doesn't understand the depth of these things, and many people judge that because they can't see it. I'm tired a lot and no matter what, I never seem to "adjust" to that. The physical issues contribute to emotional exhaustion. When I'm emotionally exhausted, I withdrawal from people. I'm not avoiding or ignoring because of something someone else has done, but I am spent in so many ways that I just want peace inside my head for a while.

Why do I share this with you? Because we can't see on the outside what happens on the inside in others' lives. We think they should do things differently. The ultimate lesson is that we are all individual and process things in different ways. We are quick to assume that life is so easy to "get it together." For many, though, it isn't easy. It's worth a shot though, I think it's important to give your best every day even if that best is not as good as yesterday's best.

Anyway, that's it for now, busy day ahead….enjoy something beautiful today!