Head Space

Wow, has it really been almost a month since I've been on this thing? Sadly, yes. My trip threw me off of my plan....well, actually, I threw myself off my plan. I have trouble once I get distracted or disrupted in my plan, with getting back ON it. So, here we are over a month later, and I'm trying to get myself back on track.

Right now, I'm cleansing, trying to detox because my body has been exhibiting a lot of symptoms that I should not be having at my age. Rather than take piles of medications, I'm trying to do it naturally...and heal my body through nutrition. Not to worry, I'm still incorporating my Eat Clean Diet, but am doing some supplementation and cleanse products to try to jump start this process of detoxing.

Over the last couple of months, I've been having joint pain, fatigue, chronic infections, chronic illness....and I love my Doctor, but I will not pollute my body with a bunch of symptomatic cures when the real true cure is addressing the root of the problem. I just watched this video on this page ----> http://www.cleanprogram.com/ it uses the analogy of a tree that is struggling, wilting, dying.....and how modern medicine's approach is to paint the leaves and glue them back on the tree rather than nurse the tree nutritionally back to health. Painting the leaves WOULD be absurd, yet our medical community does it daily. I sometimes fight my doctors about what I will and won't take. If I have a serious infection, I will take antibiotics, but I am highly sensitive to medications and don't tolerate them well in general. So, sometimes it's a battle and some of the Doctors I've seen in my lifetime don't think the patient is qualified to do their own research and decide they don't want to take certain medications. Don't hear me wrong, I respect Doctors, they save lives they help me get well...but certain things I know I just can't do.

Getting with the program, following through with a cleanse, is hard. We can talk the talk, many of us, but walking the walk seems like it's impossible sometimes. I'm just trying to be real here. I want to motivate people with this blog, but I have to be real about what happens in my head. My head is exactly why I've struggled with my weight for so long. It goes something like this: gah, I hate how I look...I hate myself in pictures....look at that nasty fat.....omg my butt in those jeans looks like some old woman....negativity, negativity, negativity. Somewhere I learned to loathe what I see, and just when I think it's not so bad, who I see in the mirror isn't looking as bad as I think...I'm slammed with a family photo and there I see three chins (maybe not really) staring at me. I obsess, I beat myself up, I hang on it. Then instead of doing anything about it, I look for my solution in food. psssttt..hey you.....don't you know you are making it worse?! RIGHT?! The logic leaves my head completely.....there lies the difficulty of finding how to get out of my own head space. Stop being negative, find something good to say (my waist looks thinner, I'm strong, I can't run X miles). There's a lot to be thankful for, yet somehow we can tend to get wrapped up in a negative cycle and get nowhere but backwards!

So, I'm working on it a day at a time. I don't have the cure.....but I'm searching for that thing...that AHA moment. In the mean time, here's some notes I took while on a ustream chat with Jesse Brisendine, a very motivating life coach and personal trainer. Check him out here: https://www.facebook.com/1Year1000Challenge

*YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET RESULTS BY GIVING 10%
*FULLY COMMIT
*THERE WILL BE DOWNS
*CHANGE DAY TO DAY THOUGHT PROCESSES IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THINGS
*THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.
*IF YOU MAKE THAT CHANGE, THE SKY IS THE LIMIT
*"IF" IS A DREAM KILLER…IF YOU PUT CONDITIONS ON YOUR DREAMS IT WILL KILL THEM.

These are all in CAPS for a very good reason, I even took the notes in CAPS....these are things I need to yell at myself EVERY DAY.

That's it for now...until next time.....remember YOU are worth it. Don't forget that

(the products I'm cleansing with are a couple of different things I'm trying, but am not sure I'm sold. Until I know whether I am....I will stay silent about them. If they do amazing things, I will share with you all)